1988-89 to 1997-98

Around the Grounds

THE 90S HAD SEAFORD AT HOME, IN WHAT HAS SHAPED TO BE A BIT OF A RIVALRY IN THE LAST 10 YEARS. THINK THEY HAVE THE SHITS SEEING WE KNOCKED OFF BRITS FROM THEM AFTER HE SAW THE LIGHT AFTER WE TOUCHED THEM UP IN THE 92-93 GRANNY AND DECIDED TO JOIN THE WINNING SIDE.

WON THE TOSS AND HAD HIT OLLIE STOCER AND CHRIS COOMBER OPENED UP AND GOT US OFF TO A GOOD START UNTIL COOMBER WENT TRYING TO HIT THE BALL INTO HAMMERS MOUTH AFTER HE SAID ‘SUCKERS’ ONCE TOO OFTEN. AT 1- 156, WE WERE QUIETLY CONFIDENT THAT WE COULD CONSOLIDATE WITH CHICO AND ROBBIE MCINTOSH STILL TO COME IN. WE LOST A QUICK ONE THOUGH, BECAUSE SHARK SAW JOE TROMANS DROPPING SOMETHING IN BRADFORDS GOB AND WAS PUT OFF BY IT, BUT WERE STILL LOOKING OK AT 2-197. CHICO CAME IN AND THE SHIT HIT THE FAN. BILLY MARSHALL HAD 2 LIGHTS AND DECIDED TO STREAK, BUT THE BALL APPEARED FROM NOWHERE AND HIT HIM IN THE EYE… AGAIN. ROBBIE REID RAN ONTO THE GROUND AND THREATENED TO KILL ANY OF THE CHEATING SEAFORD PRICKS WHO CAME NEAR BILLY AND TOOK HIM UP TO THE GEAR ROOM FOR A LIE DOWN. BARRY CRABTREE WAS STILL IN THERE HAVING A HEART ATTACK, BUT WE MOVED HIM ON AND BILLY HAD A SLEEP BEFORE GOING BACK TO WORK DRIVING CABS.

IN THE MEANTIME, OLLIE AND CHICO. HAD MANAGED TO PUT ON ANOTHER 100 BEFORE OLLIE FELL OVER SHARKS PAD STUFFING FROM THE GAME BEFORE AND GOT RUN OUT FOR 95 ROBBIE MCINTOSH WAS NEXT IN AND DECIDED THAT HE WOULD TEE OFF, BECAUSE HILLY HAD TOLD HIM TO, AND HE THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO IN CASE HIS NIPPLES GOT TORN OFF. DIDN’T LAST LONG THOUGH AND PUT US IN A LITTLE BIT OF SHIT WITH THE SCORE AT 3- 345. IN THE MEANTIME CHICO WAS GOING ALONG NICELY ON 167, BUT HAD ENOUGH, AND CALLED FOR BIG TAN TO COME OUT AND CARRY HIM OFF THE GROUND.

JUST WHEN WE WERE GOING OK WITH CHICO AND HACK (HETHRO) AT THE CREASE, THERE WAS ANOTHER CAR CRASH ON TOWERHILL ROAD, AND THE GAME STOPPED WHILE CANNY AND PHIL REVELL DIRECTED TRAFFIC AND PETER LESTER SURVEYED THE DAMAGE ON HIS CAR.

SANJ WENT OUT BECAUSE HE GOT IN A KNIFE FIGHT, BUT WE WERE WATCHING AND KNOW HE JUST TRIPPED OVER A FENCE. RUMESH DIDN’T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT HE MADE 47 BECAUSE HE WAS TOO BUSY PERVING ON RHODEYS BEAUTIFUL PECS. WHEN HE STRIPPED DOWN TO HIS LEOPARD SKIN JOCKS AND KEPT ASKING HILLY IF RHODEY WAS AN ATHLETE, HILLY BELTED HIM, AND THEN CHICO AGAIN, WHICH WAS TOO MUCH FOR ……….. WHO GOT BOWLED BECAUSE HE WAS LAUGHING TOO HARD.

AT 6- 396, WE NEEDED THE TAIL TO WAG, AND PIMMY, KITO  AND SANJI OBLIGED, PUTTING ON A LAZY 137 BETWEEN THEM.SANI. MADE 62, PIMMY MADE 61 AND KITO MADE 14, BUT IT WAS CHARDY WHO STOLE THE SHOW WHEN HE KEPT ASKING THE SCORER WHAT THE SCORE WAS WITHOUT REALISING THAT HE WAS DEAF.

KITO SMASHED ONE OVER NEAR MAL ROWES PLACE, AND WE HAD TO WAIT FOR 20 MINUTES WHILE THE GUY OVER THE FENCE WITH THE TOMOHAWK COOLED DOWN A BIT. LAST IN WAS HILLY, AND IT WAS A PISSA WATCHING THE FINES RACK UP BECAUSE PIMMY KEPT GLOVE PUNCHING HIM. EVENTUALLY WE WERE ALL OUT, ALTHOUGH I DON’T KNOW HOW, BECAUSE THERE WAS A RUN OUT AT THE KEEPERS END AND ROBBIE MCINTOSH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE SQUARE LEGGING, BUT HE WAS HIDING UNDER TONY FINNOCHIAROS CAR AT THE TIME, SO I DON’T KNOW HOW IT COULD BE GIVEN OUT.

WE ENDED UP WITH 673, WHICH WE THOUGH WASN’T TOO BAD, ALTHOUGH WE WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE BATTED OUR OVERS OUT AS WE STILL HAD 20 TO BOWL. IT ENDED UP THAT WE DIDN’T BOWL ANY, BECAUSE BAF CAME OUT AND DEMANDED THAT WE TELL JOKES INSTEAD, SO THAT WAS THE END OF DAY ONE.

WE WERE HOPING TO RUN THROUGH THEM PRETTY QUICK, SEEING THAT KITO., HILLY., PIMY AND SANJI. WOULD HAVE THE PILL TO PLAY WITH, AND IT DIDN’T HAKE LONG BEFORE WE HAD THEM IN STRIFE. LIKE THE FIRST WEEK, WE HAD TO STOP FOR A BIT WHEN HILLY. GOT CARRIED OFF BECAUSE ROGO HAD THROWN A ROCK FROM THE BOUNDRY AND HIT THEM IN THE HEAD. PIMMY CACKED IT AND KEPT SCREAMING TO GET THE FUCKING FUNDEMENTALS RIGHT BEFORE WE START WITH ANY OF THAT FANCY SHIT WITH THE ROCKS, SO WE DACKED HIM, WHICH WAS NO MEAN FEAT CONSIDERING HE HAD HIS WHITES, 3 PAIRS OF RAINBOW TRAKKIE PANDS AND A PAIR OF BIKE SHORTS ON. ANYWAY, WE WERE MOTERING ALONG JUST NICELY. PIMMY KEPT BEATING THE BAT, HILLY KEPT BEATING UP CHICO, VOIGTY KEPT BEATING TUDUR FOR THE CLUB DELEGATE POSITION, AND RUMESH KEPT BEATING HIMSELF OFF OVER RHODEY.

AT TEA WE HAD THEM 5-42, AND WERE HAPPY WITH WHERE WE WERE PLACED, BUT NEARLY STUFFED IT BECAUSE WE WENT OUT LATE, AFTER PLAYING THE PINNYS FOR TOO LONG. LYONS WAS ABOUT TO SCORE 40 0000 00000 0000 ON INDIANA JONES, AND WE WERENT GOING TO MISS THAT SHIT!!

AFTER THE BREAK, WE CLEANED UP, ALTHOUGH WE WERE LOATHED TO TOUCH THE BALL AFTER IT WENT OVER THE BOUNDRY AND ANT STARTED WIPING BOOGIES ON IT. PIMMY FIXED IT UP BY WIPING IT INTO THE TIGER BALM ON HIS ARM, AND THEN POLISHED IT ON HIS ANKLE WEIGHTS SO IT WAS OK.

WE ROLLED THEM FOR 55, IRONICALLY THE SAME AS IN THE 1^ST INNINGS OF 92-93, AND TO MAKE IT EVEN MORE STRANGE, PIMMY GOT EXACTLY THE SAME FIGURES AS IN THE GRAND FINAL. 8-21 OFF 19.

SANJ BOWLED WELL, BUT THEN TOLD EVERYONE ELSE IN THE TEAM THAT THEY WERE SHIT, SO WELL PISS HIM OFF TO HASTINGS NEXT YEAR. SUN SUN SUN, MOON, MOON MON THAT SANJI YOU BASTARD.

PICK OF THE DAY IN THE FIELD WAS  MICK O’DONOGHUE, WHO COULD BE CLEARLY SEEN IN THE ROOMS FROM POINT FACING A WALL IN HIS MIRRORED SUNNIES WHINGING AT HOW HE IS STILL IN THE TWOS.

MAN OF THE MATCH GOES TO THE GIRLS FROM THE GUIDE HALL WHO CAM OUT FOR A PHOTO SHOOT, CONVENIENTLY AS WE ADOPTED A 3^RD MAN CORDON, AND LEFT PIMMY TO BOWL.

SEES US SITTING ON TOP, WITH THE OTHER TWO SIDES THAT COULD THREATEN BEING PEARCEDALE AND HASTINGS UP NEXT, ALTHOUGH ONE THINKS THAT THEY WILL JUST BE THE STEPPING STONE TO ANOTHER 3 DAY BINGE TO CELEBRATE OUR 2^ND DISTRICT FLAG OF THE 90’S